I had the opportunity of observing a child and her mother and a lady at the park. The child was placed in the sand and water area while her mother was sitting on the bench talking with her friend. The focus was totally left off the child and they were just there busily talking. A little while off a cat came by and the child began playing and talking to the cat. Upon pulling the cat on the tail the cat retaliated by scratching the child on her hand. This made her cry out real loud. The mother hurried to her with her friend running along . "What is wrong, Moya?" she yelled. She replied, " the cat scratch me". Her mother replied, "Serve you right , I placed you to play in the sand and not with a stupid cat?" Moya as called by her mother began crying even more as she held down her head and began throwing the sand. Her mother went back and sit on the bench and began talking to her friend once more.
From thus observation, I have realized that this little girl was not given much attention and guidance as she ought to be getting because she looked like a four years old child. I have learned that our children need to be treated with love, they need to feel a sense of belonging. Secondly, they should not be left entirely on their own without proper supervision. Based upon what I have learn this week, the mother could have dealt with the matter in a much calmer and polite manner. Her use of language could have been kinder as well as she could have have sat more closer and guide her child while she spoke with her friend.
The communication interaction that I have observed have affected the child in a negative manner because the mother insulted the child in a public place that was filled of different children and their families. It was obvious that emotionally the child was hurting as she held her head down. This in turn plays a negative posture on the child's self worth.
From what I have observed, I can state that my approach and interaction with children are totally different. I always ensure that proper respect is given to children, the language communicated is warm, true and just. Children are not afraid of speaking to me because I create an atmosphere for them to feel free to express themselves openly.I therefore, need to continue being the calm, warm person that I am.
Latoya, I enjoyed reading your post. It sounds as though what you witnessed was a good example of how NOT to communicate with a young child. The mother was not focused on the child and did not provide appropriate supervision or interaction with her. How sad that the mother yelled at the child when she came to her for comfort. No wonder the little girl was fascinated by the cat—the creature provided something to explore and was interacting with her! -Susan
ReplyDeleteThis observation breaks my heart! I know that parenting is hard, and it has it days where every little situation can get to you, but that is no reason to be so negative to your child. I wish that the mother would spend a small amount of time playing with the child, so that the child might have known how to properly interact with a cat. Let alone that the child only had the cat to communicate with.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your observation!
Latoya-
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad story! Kovach and Da Ros-Voseles say that "When you ignore babies, you tell them that they are not valued. When you do not talk to babies, they are unlikely to understand what is happening with them," (Kovach and Da Ros-Voseles, 2011). Instead of ignoring the child and telling her it was her fault the cat scratched her, the mother should have taken some time to engage in play with her daughter. When the cat scratched her, she should have calmly explained to her that it was probably scared because she had pulled its tail, and that's something we don't do to animals. Thank you for sharing this story.
-Melanie
Latoya,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story with us. This would have been a hard observation to do without saying something to the mother. I can't stand when people bring their children out only to neglect them for their own selfish reasons. I always have my eye on my child and make sure she is within arms reach at all times. So much going on in the world today, how could you not want to watch your child. The mere fact that a cat scratched the child and the mom did not know what was going on means that something worse could have happened and she would have no idea. It saddens me that some parents are less interested in their children. I would have to agree with you that the child lacks guidance on more than just this occasion. This lack of communication aligned with the negative communication can cause the child to develop social relationship problems as she gets older.
Shayla
Latoya,
ReplyDeleteSeems like if mom was not so wrapped up in her friend, then this whole episode might have been avoided. I see this same kind of scenario happening all the time. Parents will leave their children unattended and do something else. I think that she certainly could and should have handled this much differently. She is obviously lacking in communication skills also. She could have taken this opportunity to discuss with her child how to appropriately handle animals and when you should and should not mess with them. She completely missed a parenting opportunity with this. Thanks for sharing!
Amy McCoig